I’ve once read this saying: “Stop looking for your soulmate, start looking for your soul, mate”.
I think this is sooooo true or how attracting your ideal partner works.
It’s also true that you need to love yourself first before you can manifest true love from someone else. Because if you don’t do the inner work first, all you’re going to attract are karmic relationships and catalysts that we’ll give you the needed lessons about yourself.
Well, sometimes we do need those relationships and those catalysts so we can wake up to what we need to work within, but we need to pay close attention and do the work, otherwise we’ll be going around in circles, always manifesting the same type of people, just with different faces and names.
Doing your inner work is especially important if you came out of a relationship that was painful, so you need to heal and nurture yourself.
First of all, you need to realise that your relationship with yourself is and will always be the priority. Even if you manifest your soulmate, twin flame, divine love, etc, you should always come first.
I believe relationships are the most important in life and where we grow (any type of relationship)but they are meant to give you happiness and freedom, not pain and loneliness.
Become who you wish to attract
As in everything with the Law of Attraction, if you want to attract your ideal lover, you need to become the ideal lover yourself.
If you do a list of the qualities you want in a partner – and I don’t mean height, job, hair or eye colour, I mean core values – you need to become them yourself first.
Let’s say you want to manifest someone who loves you unconditionally, who is honest, emotionally available, who is happy, who is living a fulfilling life.
You need to become ALL these qualities FIRST! That’s how you vibrationally match the type of person who want.
Yes this means doing a lot of internal work, it means spending time in a relationship with yourself giving yourself everything you wish a partner would give you.
Most people don’t bother to do this. They want to just keep going with their lives and hope that their ideal woman/man will show up and fill the voids they have.
Those voids are just the absence of those qualities in themselves.
This doesn’t mean they don’t have those qualities themselves, because if they want those qualities in someone else, it’s because they already exist inside them.
The thing is they’re buried deep inside, and have been for many many years. So that’s why those people need to do the work within, open their hearts, go find those qualities and bring them to the open.
Many people just tend to think is easier just to wait for someone else to appear and give them all they’re lacking, but, as you’re always attracting who you are, so you’ll be attracting to you someone else who is also trying to fill some voids.
And you will keep learning the same lessons again, until the day you decide to go within.
So, if you wish to manifest someone who loves you unconditionally, who is honest, emotionally available, who is happy and living a fulfilling life (or other qualities), you need to learn first how to love yourself unconditionally, how to be honest with yourself, how to be emotionally available to yourself, how to be happy and start living a fulfilling life on your own.
Unless you start loving yourself, unless you start giving value to yourself, and unless your start enjoying your own company, no-one will love you or value you or live in happiness with you.
Because what happens if you don’t do the work in yourself first to align with the person you wish to manifest, it’s that your ideal mate can pass just in front of your eyes and you won’t even recognise them because you’re in a different vibrational frequency.
Finding your soulmate or divine partner doesn’t happen to the “lucky ones”, it happens naturally to the ones that work in themselves first.
Of course you still want to ask the Universe for your soulmate, to visualize it, to feel it, to beehive he/she is coming to you.
But, whilst he/she is not here yet, keep doing the work on yourself.
It is only when two people are whole and don’t need anyone else to complete them that they can have a healthy true love relationship with someone else.
Not only when you become all you want in a partner, but also when you unconditionally love yourself first, the whole of you.
This way, love is not a question of “what can I get from here”, or “I only love you if you do/behave like this or like that”. It is UNCONDITIONAL.
You still have and should have your personal boundaries and not accept what doesn’t feel good to you, but you do it from a place of love.
It doesn’t mean the relationship will be perfect, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.
But it means each one of the individuals are together for the purpose of growth and expansion, and committed to help each other in their individual journeys.
When you’re in a relationship with an open heart and living from the hear centre, there’s no ego involved. There are no clashes of power, no 3D behaviours. Even when there’s an argument, the main goal is to solve and grow.
So, when you come from a place where you are already giving yourself all you need, you have so much more to share with someone else too.
And that’s why you won’t settle for less than true love. You don’t need to settle for less because you’re already giving yourself all you need.
You’ll only be again in a relationship that is based on true love and where together you can grow and flourish so much more.
Be so happy and so joyful in our own company that the light that starts shining from you is so bright it illuminates the path for the other person to come to you. 🙂
And believe me, your inner work will not only reflect in a romantic relationship, but in ALL relationships of your life.
Because they’re all a mirror of who you are.
